parents’ pain – Cup and Quill

The Dance: Why the Pain of Losing a Pet Is Worth It

August 21, 2018

“Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared…” Garth Brooks’ much-loved song “The Dance” reminds us that the best things in life sometimes lead to painful endings. The song is about a person who realizes what he would have had to miss to avoid the pain often associated with the end of a relationship. Today, the song was on my mind for other reasons. This morning, my s.o. Alan’s beloved Australian Shepherd/Border Collie cross, Topper, who’d worked his way into my heart to a degree I never imagined possible, crossed the rainbow bridge. He was 14, give or

Why Being Not Okay, is Okay

June 6, 2018

It is okay not to be okay. This I have learned from two friends and my significant other who have lost children to terrible diseases in the recent past. I don’t know that anyone can truly “get” the enormity of the grief that comes with losing a child unless one has actually lost a child. However, I believe my friends and partner when they talk about how heavy that grief is at times. It sounds unbearable and yet it must be borne. People say the most insensitive things to parents who’ve lost children. More often than you’d imagine, people (and

“I Can Only Imagine”

April 1, 2018

“I Just Can’t Imagine” When bad things happen to other people, we often say “I just can’t imagine….” Usually, we say this to acknowledge that something bad has happened and to express sympathy or regret. However, the phrase “I just can’t imagine” does neither of those things. In fact, saying “I just can’t imagine” is a bit of a cop-out. Our language needs to align more closely with our intentions. So, instead of saying “I just can’t imagine,” we should say “I can only imagine.” Whatever our intentions, words speak for themselves. “I just can’t imagine” is code for “I

Category: parents’ pain

The Dance: Why the Pain of Losing a Pet Is Worth It

Why Being Not Okay, is Okay

“I Can Only Imagine”